Secret

Feelings..

If it makes you less sad;

I hate myself. endlessly. Everytime I think about.. it, I can’t tell myself I am who I started to be when I met you. I’m lazy, I sleep all day, I don’t share the attention. I only miss you when you’re physically gone for more than 24 hours. I don’t know what happened to me. Remember when I used to be obsessed with a girl names Jennifer? It took me a long time to throw that name out of my head. You, Allison, were my cure. But now you’re the one stuck on my mind. I can’t walk my day without thinking what you think of yourself and me. I say it like that because I feel like you hate yourself when you’re with me. I’m a horrible person that can’t even keep a smile on one persons face. I suck at being a friend. I smoke cigarettes, you don’t. I had a bad accident on my day off, you don’t have any bad accidents. You’re going to school, I’m not. The list goes on and I can only think why you even got with me in the first place. I’m poison for you and that’s what I am to anyone else.

I can’t even stay on subject. The name Jen was on my mind for the first year of the relationship. I started forgetting important memories with that name slowly. It was being replaced with small happy moments with Allison. I wanted to say I loved her, but I always felt a curl in my stomach when I thought about how shitty of a person I was and how I didn’t always get to.. not hurt her. I never hit her with and angry attempt. Never called her bad names out of angry attempts. Never saw her for sex only. Allison taught me what a pair of warm arms around me really meant.. and it’s what’s killing me.. that I sleep with only my cold arms. 

I’m gonna type a part two of this only because I have work in 20 minutes.

;;Dearly::

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Tagged: Me Personal

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i-give-up-kill-me-now:

237 followers.. but 3,800+ blog views.. WHAT?

._. I don’t even…

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How dare you still think of me as Momo.. 

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forte7:

thetarrpit:

perryface:

vintagegal:

Model poses and the finished paintings of Gil Elvgren

This is awesome.

before there was photoshop there were illustrators. 

Oh these are pretty

Anonymous: Hey, I found a way to get a lot of followers and make your blog super popular! For some reason it will not let me put links in this message but here go to fоllowhype(.)com

nu tank yuh

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brandonoda:

Norwegian Wood. 

brandonoda:

Norwegian Wood. 

Come to think of it, I’ll be migrating ONLY my personal posts to my new blog. If you get a new follower, it’s most likely me. Only way to tell is if anyone really recognizes the posts I’ll be posting..

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Tagged: me personal

This account is gonna be deactivated soon. I will start up another, but by a different URL and email and name. For my safety and well being. I will also deactivate any social network/website I’m connected to. All this will be done in the following 24 hours. When the time comes, I will also change my phone number.

All this will be done without telling friends or family. If you know me, I’m sorry this is being done. My intention is to let go of anything that reminds me.. Of me.

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Tagged: Me personal